Building Your Self Confidence

At some point in your life you may have experienced the lack of self confidence, which could have been triggered off by any number of reasons. One of the major reasons could be put down to the feeling of under achievement simply because you saw yourself incapable of achieving something that others may have found much easier to achieve.

These feelings can build up, and as a consequence you can easily end up in situations where you will lack the level of self confidence that would be needed for any task(s) at hand. Aside from this reason, the root of low self confidence can also derive from any one individual’s race, gender, physical appearance, plus other types of factors.

“The point is”. If you just take the time to recognise what is the root cause for your lack of self confidence, “whether from past experiences, or internal conflict”, to overcome it you will need to take action to build your self confidence to a higher level.

Here are just a few of the ways on how you can build your self confidence:

Take responsibility

This does not have to mean taking over a group and becoming a leader in that group. Taking small responsibilities such as assuming chores will provide a good start on building your self confidence. Once you have assumed and successfully executed small responsibilities on a regular and consistent basis, then you can take larger steps. The idea is, to start with small steps, and then gradually working your way from there.

Just bear in mind the ancient chinese proverb, “Every thousand mile journey begins with a single step”.

As always…be positive

You will notice that if and when you think too often of the negative things, or the negative effects on each thing or task you do, you end up totally disregarding the positives. This will only add further to “low self confidence”. What you should always do, is to think of all the positive outcomes that are possible. The more times you “THINK POSITIVE”, about every apsect of your task at hand, the more likely you are to banish any negative thoughts.

Set your goals!

Draw up a goal for each task at hand. Start small and stay focused on achieving each one of your chosen goals. Tackle each goal with this same mindset. After a short time you should find yourself setting more difficult goals, which will inevitably lead you to further building upon your self confidence.

Praise yourself

Start off your day by facing the mirror and praising yourself for any goals that were successfully achieved in the past (no matter how small, or large). You might think this is silly, but this technique has been proven to be very effective. If you kickstart your day feeling confident, happy and content, any tasks ahead will feel that much more lighter. Why? Because you will now have a positive outlook on the rest of the day to come, and by seeing yourself (literally) as that confident, happy and content person, you will certainly make any tasks ahead that much easier to undertake.

Avoid unnecessary stress

Your aim is to slowly build your self confidence, but you will not achieve this if you trap yourself in the situation wherein those tasks surround you. It would be in your best interest to completely avoid multi-tasking, and tackle each task “one at a time”. By doing this it will make you that much more efficient in everything you set out to accomplish. Thus giving you a far better chance of reaching your chosen goals. You will get everything done, but in a much more controlled and relaxed way, ultimately removing the burden and the thought that you will not finish everything in time. This is a much less stressful and productive way to achieve higher levels of self confidence.

Be seen in the crowd

This does not mean you have to be the centre of attention. To be seen in the crowd you simply need to make some form of contact and get the conversation going. Don’t just turn up at a party only to feel sorry for yourself because no one has talked to you. Approach other people and get that conversation going. Your self confidence will build up by consistently communicating well with others.

Take good care of yourself

Live healthy, eat healthy, and get plenty of rest. This will make you feel good on the inside and look good on the outside. It’s a proven fact that when you feel and look good, it puts a spring in your step. You suddenly become much more sure of yourself, which can only prove to be a positive booster toward your self confidence.

Offer and provide help to others

Your overall aim is to feel good about yourself, and when you’re feeling good about yourself your level of self confidence automatically rises. Did you know that if you offer your time by helping others, you will most certainly feel good about yourself.

I’m not talking about paid for help, or even favours. Offer and provide your time and effort without any conditions. No pay, no favour returned. Unconditional time and effort for the good of someone else.

No matter how it is accomplished, creating the “feel good factor” within yourself is definitely the way to go if you are seriously looking to build and develop your self confidence to a higher level.

To read more articles directly related to self confidence, please visit my recently released Self Confidence Guide (new window)

Yours in success and happiness

Alan H.

Are you suffering from low self esteem?

The lack of self esteem (otherwise known as “low self worth”) can be a debilitating problem. It can actually hamper anyone’s potential to be successful, or even fulfilling and achieving one’s dreams. In essence, low self esteem hampers the ability to visualize your dreams, which in turn has a major impact on your levels of achievement. Also, people with low self worth can often get into self destructive relationships with others, which again only serves to be of a negative, non productive value.

There are many reasons why people lose their self esteem

Mostly, it is caused by external factors such as society and/or our family relations, or the manner in the way we were brought up. The media also plays a pivotal role in developing self esteem as it has the capacity to provide the greatest influence on people from all walks of life.

The vast majority of us are exposed to many varied forms of media advertisements (such as T V commercials, magazines, billboards, internet, etc, etc) which often cram our minds with what is supposedly acceptable, such as beauty, shape and size etc. Therefore acceptance is what it is all about. We tend to compare ourselves to the bench marks of what is acceptable to society, and if we feel we do not meet up to these given criterias, we can easily feel bad about ourselves. It is then that we can so easily (and most unecessarily) develop low self esteem issues.

As children, we were carefree and never really cared about what “is” and “is not” acceptable to society. We said what we wanted to say, did almost anything that we wanted to do. We dressed up with whatever clothes we chose to dress ourselves up in to look the way we wanted to look. It never mattered to us then (or any other kid around us) what shapes our noses were, what color our skins were, whether we were tall, or small in stature, slim, average, or large in build.

In other words, we as carefree children created our own societies. We never really cared about what people thought. But somehow, as we grew older, we learnt to seek acceptance and even the approval from other people that surround us. If the approval that we crave is not forthcoming, it is then that any number of issues with self esteem begins.

Which brings me to the development of self esteem…

Self esteem development starts from childhood. It is a parent’s duty to make his or her child feel special. And contrary to scolding the child for doing something wrong, it would help if we engage the child in the task of solving their own problems. Do not merely tell them what to do, help them decide on what they think is best for them. This helps the child cultivate a sense of responsibility and control over their life. These traits are essential in developing a healthy level of self esteem.

A parent should also concentrate on the positive traits of his or her child. It is given that every one of us has our own good and bad sides, and therefore focusing on the positive will encourage the child to bring out that trait more often if he or she sees that it is well appreciated. This same practice can also be applied to adults. Focus on their good traits and in time they will learn to bring that out more often.

Also, one of the things a parent should remember is to never, ever compare siblings. Treat each child as an individual, and focus on each of their individual strengths. Comparing siblings to one another will only succeed in bringing out the best in one child and the worst in the other. If the latter sibling feels that he or she cannot match the “better” sibling, eventually he or she will give up and start being contented being the “inferior” sibling.

Finally, educate the child to love him or herself by making him or her feel loved by you as a parent/guardian. Avoid judging any child for their mistakes, instead, ask them what they could do differently in the future to avoid those mistakes. This will give them the feeling that they are trusted. The more a child feels trusted, the higher the regard for his or herself will be.

REPEAT AFTER ME… “Low self worth is completely unecessary. I will do everything in my power to see that my siblings feel loved and appreciated by me. I myself, will never again have to suffer from low self esteem”.

To read more articles directly related to self esteem, please visit my recently released Self Esteem Guide (new window)

Yours in success and happiness

Alan H.

Anger could possibly be one of the most destructive emotions that we could ever wish to experience.

Since anger is an emotional state of the mind, the expression wholely depends from person to person. To a lesser degree, some folk may feel irritated, while to a higher degree, some folk may feel rage and fury about exactly the same thing, and the biological and physiological changes follow with every anger created.

As a consequence, anger could lead to either constructive or destructive results. Sadly, most people would tend to loose control which would obviously prevent them from ever taking a more constructive path when angry. This calls for ways on how to manage anger effectively without hurting other people - including yourself.

Constructively manage your anger…

Life is not a bed of roses “far from it”. Many times in your life you will inevitably experience things that will make you feel angry. It’s a natural emotion that you will need to deal with at some point and time, so whenever you find yourself in this situation, try not to lose control.

We all know that life does not always go according to plan. when this is the case, anger is not the solution. Anger will definitely not solve the problem. Destructive, and unchecked anger will only ever prove to keep you even further away from your goal. Please take it from me, DO NOT waste your time grieving and/or blaming yourself, or others for your mishaps. Simply accept things for what they are, move on, and continue to strive in doing something more productive.

“Creating a destructive outlet for your anger is not the solution. Never has been, or never will be”. Period!

The norms of society and the conscience governing men prohibit us from taking destructive actions, but if you let anger dominate you, everything prohibited may well be ignored. Never let your emotions govern you. Take control of yourself and do something that is productive, non-violent, and always acceptable.

Forgive yourself

Forgiving yourself will lead to better things to come. Being angry with one’s self, however, will never do any good to you, or to anyone else. This is because when you hate yourself for your own failures, the effects are not limited only to yourself, but also on your outlook with other people.

So instead of hating yourself for whatever reason, just forgive yourself and move on. Learn from the experience and before you know it you are back on track again. Always remember, failures would still come even if you forgave yourself the first time. What you should do is to continuously make adjustments with your life and not hate yourself with every failure you that you experience.

Your body has its limits. You know that certain things can easily make you angry. You also know that certain things can make your anger go away. Work your way by avoiding those that can easily make you angry. In the same manner, use the activities that can calm you down if you think you are creating a destructive anger.

Anger itself is indifferent. This means that anger can be put to better uses. It just depends on how people handle it. Making sure that you are in control of your own emotions is the best thing to do if you are going out of line. Anger would become an advantage if you know how to handle it well, rather than getting carried away with it.

To read more articles directly related to anger management, please visit my recently released Anger Management Guide (new window)

Yours in success and happiness

Alan H.

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It’s official!

“Your ultimate guide to self improvement” has now been launched.

And no, I’m not going to make any apologies in advance for sounding all hypey and over the top.

Why should I? My intentions are to make this weblog one of the best “if not the very best place” to visit, and revisit when you feel you need to “pep up” your life. Now please don’t misunderstand me, I’m no expert by any means in any field of personal development, I’m just a ordinary day to day bloke who came to his senses a few years ago when suddenly realising that self development to any level of improvement has to come from within. Yes! It’s you “and you only” that has to decide whether you want to move forward and improve upon what you have already achieved in your own life.

I have strived, and continue to strive to improve my life for the better. Why not? As far as I know (if anyone can prove to me differently, I’m all ears) you, me, and everyone else who walks this earth are here for one lifetime. So why not make the best of it!

What I do know, and most importantly, what I have come to fully understand is… “if YOU, yourself choose to do so, “you can improve your lifestyle to any level you wish”, just so long as you are willing to make the changes that will be required of you to reach your chosen goals and aspirations.

You see… The way I see it, we are all on a journey of improving ourselves to some degree or another, and everyone deserves better. Life is far too short to have it any differently.

My primary aim is to help and guide you to the best possible solutions to any problems that you may have that are currently preventing you from having that better life. That improved lifestyle which you, and many other people alike so richly deserve.

It’s now time to be made accountable to ourselves, and to now finally take those steps that are neccessary in order to be that better person we truly deserve to be.

It’s decision time…

Do you feel that you deserve much more out of life? Good, I’m so pleased for you…. that’s a wise and honourable decision. Did you know that improving oneself also goes a long way to improving the lives of those around you. Your loved ones, and your nearest and dearest.

”Let the journey commence”….

See the “CATEGORIES” section. Select any one of the currently listed articles by “title name”, under “Featured Articles”. I will be including additional, relevant topics within the featured articles section over the coming days, and weeks, so please bear with me. Thanks.

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I look forward to having you as a valued reader/contributor to my newly launched self improvement weblog. I openly welcome any comments that you may have at this time, or at any other time you choose to visit.

Thanks again for calling by.

Yours in success and happiness,

Alan H.
(A proven case study that there is a pathway to a better life- only if you choose)