Your Ultimate Guide to Self Improvement

Are you suffering from low self esteem?

The lack of self esteem (otherwise known as “low self worth”) can be a debilitating problem. It can actually hamper anyone’s potential to be successful, or even fulfilling and achieving one’s dreams. In essence, low self esteem hampers the ability to visualize your dreams, which in turn has a major impact on your levels of achievement. Also, people with low self worth can often get into self destructive relationships with others, which again only serves to be of a negative, non productive value.

There are many reasons why people lose their self esteem

Mostly, it is caused by external factors such as society and/or our family relations, or the manner in the way we were brought up. The media also plays a pivotal role in developing self esteem as it has the capacity to provide the greatest influence on people from all walks of life.

The vast majority of us are exposed to many varied forms of media advertisements (such as T V commercials, magazines, billboards, internet, etc, etc) which often cram our minds with what is supposedly acceptable, such as beauty, shape and size etc. Therefore acceptance is what it is all about. We tend to compare ourselves to the bench marks of what is acceptable to society, and if we feel we do not meet up to these given criterias, we can easily feel bad about ourselves. It is then that we can so easily (and most unecessarily) develop low self esteem issues.

As children, we were carefree and never really cared about what “is” and “is not” acceptable to society. We said what we wanted to say, did almost anything that we wanted to do. We dressed up with whatever clothes we chose to dress ourselves up in to look the way we wanted to look. It never mattered to us then (or any other kid around us) what shapes our noses were, what color our skins were, whether we were tall, or small in stature, slim, average, or large in build.

In other words, we as carefree children created our own societies. We never really cared about what people thought. But somehow, as we grew older, we learnt to seek acceptance and even the approval from other people that surround us. If the approval that we crave is not forthcoming, it is then that any number of issues with self esteem begins.

Which brings me to the development of self esteem…

Self esteem development starts from childhood. It is a parent’s duty to make his or her child feel special. And contrary to scolding the child for doing something wrong, it would help if we engage the child in the task of solving their own problems. Do not merely tell them what to do, help them decide on what they think is best for them. This helps the child cultivate a sense of responsibility and control over their life. These traits are essential in developing a healthy level of self esteem.

A parent should also concentrate on the positive traits of his or her child. It is given that every one of us has our own good and bad sides, and therefore focusing on the positive will encourage the child to bring out that trait more often if he or she sees that it is well appreciated. This same practice can also be applied to adults. Focus on their good traits and in time they will learn to bring that out more often.

Also, one of the things a parent should remember is to never, ever compare siblings. Treat each child as an individual, and focus on each of their individual strengths. Comparing siblings to one another will only succeed in bringing out the best in one child and the worst in the other. If the latter sibling feels that he or she cannot match the “better” sibling, eventually he or she will give up and start being contented being the “inferior” sibling.

Finally, educate the child to love him or herself by making him or her feel loved by you as a parent/guardian. Avoid judging any child for their mistakes, instead, ask them what they could do differently in the future to avoid those mistakes. This will give them the feeling that they are trusted. The more a child feels trusted, the higher the regard for his or herself will be.

REPEAT AFTER ME… “Low self worth is completely unecessary. I will do everything in my power to see that my siblings feel loved and appreciated by me. I myself, will never again have to suffer from low self esteem”.

To read more articles directly related to self esteem, please visit my recently released Self Esteem Guide (new window)

Yours in success and happiness

Alan H.